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April, 2008

Report – 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic

Is that compliment real or not? A new report tells you how to know the difference. More coverage at: onion.com

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NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL

The Miami Dolphins have drafted NHL star Alexander Ovechkin, making his dream to play professional sports a reality. More coverage at: onion.com

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Representative Wants To Meet More Kids Online

Rep. Gelinas proposes an educational bill to increase the number of young people he meets in under-13 chat rooms. More coverage at: onion.com

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Tired Of Traffic? New DOT Report Urges Drivers: ‘Honk’

The Department of Transportation reports gridlock can be eliminated by simply honking your car’s horn. More coverage at: onion.com

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Are Our Children Learning Enough About Whales?

In The Know: Panelists discuss a new report that found only 84% of education funding goes to teaching children about whales. More coverage at: onion.com

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80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. More coverage at: onion.com

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Time Releases List Of Least Influential Americans

Time Magazine’s eagerly anticipated annual list of the 299 million least influential Americans hits newsstands this week. More coverage at: onion.com

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Congress Debates Merits Of New Catchphrase

Rep. William Cummings (D-VA) defends his use of the slang word “pronk” as a legitimate catchphrase. More coverage at: onion.com

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Human Head Found In Hamburger

An Albany, New York man was surprised to find a human head in his Double Whopper at a local Burger King. More coverage at: onion.com

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‘Iron Man’ Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film

Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won’t live up to the original 90-second story’s vision. More coverage at: onion.com

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M3 Revolution Commercial

A single engine revolution. The purest functional element of an internal combustion engine. A visual story of how only BMW manipulates air, fuel, electricity and fire, transitioning them into the heartbeat that is the first ever production V8 BMW M3.

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M3 Revolution Commercial

A single engine revolution. The purest functional element of an internal combustion engine. A visual story of how only BMW manipulates air, fuel, electricity and fire, transitioning them into the heartbeat that is the first ever production V8 BMW M3.

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M3 Revolution Commercial

A single engine revolution. The purest functional element of an internal combustion engine. A visual story of how only BMW manipulates air, fuel, electricity and fire, transitioning them into the heartbeat that is the first ever production V8 BMW M3.

,

M3 Revolution Commercial

A single engine revolution. The purest functional element of an internal combustion engine. A visual story of how only BMW manipulates air, fuel, electricity and fire, transitioning them into the heartbeat that is the first ever production V8 BMW M3.

,

M3 Revolution Commercial

A single engine revolution. The purest functional element of an internal combustion engine. A visual story of how only BMW manipulates air, fuel, electricity and fire, transitioning them into the heartbeat that is the first ever production V8 BMW M3.

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