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August, 2008

Portrayal Of Obama As Snob Hailed As Step Forward For Blacks

Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.

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Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To South

Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass beneath them instead.

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Some Gave All For Nothing

With sweat and toil, give blood for oil, Make an offer to the Gods! The Gods of war eat dogs of war, But we all face the odds. Roll the dice, you’ll sacrifice, For country, God and Corps. No purple hearts, no bleeding hearts, But touched forever more. Mom’s reticence, your innocence, Like dust into […]

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Midnight Club Los Angeles – Trailer #3

The best way to see Los Angeles is at 245mph. Race at breakneck speeds through the streets of modern-day L.A. recreated in stunning detail. Drive the hottest…

Californians Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition

Residents took part in rituals like picking through the charred remains of their homes and feigning shock that this could happen to them.

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Poll Reveals 430 New Demographics That Will Decide Election

A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.

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NASA Tests Effects Of Space On Fat Astronaut

Mission specialist Robert Barrett first became suspicious when he noticed most of his tasks involved measuring his waist and eating cookie dough.

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Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever

The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.

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‘Cosmopolitan’ Completes Study On How To Please Your Man

Cosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man’s carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.

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Pentagon’s Unmanned Spokesdrone Gives Press Conference

The spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.

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