In response to Republican attacks, Barack Obama unleashed a series of slightly negative ads that gently point out how McCain could be doing a better job.
The new facility will be an intimate beachfront stadium where the Yankees can go to get away from the hustle and bustle of New York City.
McCain pointed to his personal success in marrying a wealthy beer heiress to prove how the plan could benefit every American.
In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.
Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls.
The sudden drop in demand for “Buck Fush” T-shirts and “Hail to the Chimp” posters could leave millions unemployed.
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After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game.
On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork.
Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.